Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Thoughts and Confessions

1. Luxury cars are stupid. You are spending thousands of dollars for one MAYBE two higher end features over the cheaper model. Heated seats aren't that valuable. It is like advertising to the world that you have more money than sense. Or a complex. Either way, is that the message you really want to send out to people?

2. I like bad puns sometimes. Ones that elicit a "hardy har har" from most people will elicit smile and a small giggle from me. The picture of the Koala Bear with the caption of "What you do mean I'm not a bear? I have all of the koalafications?" cracks me up every time.

3. I love Pinterest, but I spend about 1/3 of my time looking at pins and saying "You know you can just buy that, right?" or "Yeah, never gonna happen." Side note, because of this I'm pretty sure I'm going to be the world's worst mom by Pinterest standards.

4. Tights are not pants. Seriously. I know they are comfy, but they are an undergarment; as in, you wear them UNDER something else. What you do in your own home is up to you, but out in public, realize the rest of us don't want to see that.

5. If you wear your pants so tight they might as well be tights, see #4. I don't want to know what kind of underwear you have on.

6. Commercials have gotten weirder and weirder over time. Now some of them are downright creepy. I give you the following examples:
    A. The commercial where the gingerbread cookie is stalking the woman through her office? That's a horror movie waiting to happen.
    B. The Charmin Bears family on those commercials? WAAAAYYYYY too close. Weirdly close. Seriously. Any family that talks about toilet paper lint that often is sort of creepy.
    C. The commercial where the guy is "made of money" and dollars are falling off of him as he travels? Is anybody else weirded out by the the fact that if his skin is money and money is falling off of him, then that essentially means his skins is constantly falling off and people are just grabbing it? Ew.
    D. Viagra commercials are awkward enough, but the fact that the latest commercial I have seen shows all the featured men doing activities all by their lonesome with no woman in sight is just crossing the line. Quadruple ew. Quintuple ew.
There are many more examples, but that is really enough for a whole different post.

7. I was taught that it is NEVER okay to ask a woman if she is pregnant, unless she talks about it first. I mean, it is not even okay if she is 40 weeks and about to start labor right in front of you. So, I know it is wrong, but when I was in the Hallmark store last week, and a random lady asked me about my due date without knowing anything about me, part of me wanted to deny even being pregnant for just a second just to see the horrified look on her face. It would have been mean. I know. I didn't. I smiled and told her my due date and she was sweet about it. It occurred to me that I might have a bit of a mean streak. I hope my son doesn't inherit that.

8. Thank you notes are not optional. End of story.

9. Being pregnant can be hard. I'm not talking about the million and one trips to the bathroom each day. I'm not talking about swollen feet, clumsiness, pelvic pressure, congestion from swollen membranes, clothes that don't fit, exhaustion, super weird dreams, or the ever present general discomfort. I can get over that stuff. I think the hard part is the emotional roller coaster ride that never really ends. I'm thrilled and excited, I'm nervous, I'm terrified, I'm worried, I'm happy; in short, I'm a hot mess. No wonder people think pregnant women are a little crazy. We are.

10. I like baseball. I do. However, I find it ridiculous that the World Series is not over until November. They are referred to as the "Boys of Summer" for a reason. November is not summer. The season is too long. This is why I like college baseball and I'm not as enthusiastic about MLB. Seriously, the MLB season (including post season) is almost, ALMOST, the entire length of my pregnancy. That's insane.